Common Sense

I want to tell two instances where common sense is non-existent.

1. Last Wednesday I went to The Housing Tribunal to register a claim on my developer. Becos most of the owners wanted to make the same claim, we have devided ourselves into few groups and wanted to submit the claims together in few batches. Obviously there were some forms that need to be filled up and signed. One of the form, u need to have 4 copies complete with signature. So, during the submission, there were abt 10 claimants from my group including myself. As I was submitting it at the counter, the other claimant next to me started raising his voice. Apparently, he had problem with his form. This bugger had filled up and signed the original copy only and then xeroxed 3 other copies to be submitted. The clerk at the counter couldnt accept it as the signatures were photocopied from the original one. And to make matters worse, they were 2 signatures in the form, the other one being his wife, and the wife didnt came for submission, so he couldnt even amend the forms. They kept arguing and this bugger kept on repeating that nobody informed him abt it. I think it is common sense, it's an official document, why the hell u want to give a photocopied signature. And this guys is a GM in one construction company. Pls la..GM pun tak reti ke? In the end, the bugger had to accept the ruling. He needs to go back, do the forms again and sign it on all 4 copies.

2. Two days ago, I had summoned repairman to my house to get my aircond fixed. After doing the investigation, they told me the problems were with the motor and the blower. Both needs to be replaced. I agreed with them, but they have to come the next day to fix the new parts cos they need to order it first. So yesterday, they were supposed to come arnd 5.30-6.00. But by 6.30, they was still no signs of them. Finally abt 6.35, they called me. Actually they had been at the lobby area since 6, but the security guard didnt allow them to go up. They have a strict instruction that contractor can not enter the area after 5 to do any type of work. The reason behind the ruling is that all the works by contractor will be very noisy, other residents will complain. I can agree and understand with that. But come on la, just putting in a blower and the motor it wont be noisy at all. I'm fine with the guard, he was just doing his job and receiving orders. Nevertheless, I said I wanted to talk to the supervisor. So I called the supervisor and explained the type of work that will be done, he told me he understood but he cant allow it, by giving the same reason. Now I'm getting furious, if he said he understood then why still give the same reason. Pls, some common sense here. I demanded to talk to his GM to get my approval, well, at least the GM has some common sense and let me thru. I wasted 30 mins trying to explain my problem to ppl with no common sense. I wonder what can be done to improve the level of common sense to ppl, I dont think there is any school or course that teach u that.

When your best friend UP

Have you ever had this situation? What wd u feel? What is playing in your mind when it happens?

I'm sure u wd feel very awkward and uncomfortable or even mad and angry. How can a person that you trust, shares everything with, knows you inside out would do such a thing. Unless the person has been an UP person since u had known them, the feeling would be somewhat as I've mentioned earlier.

When I dont like a person(most of the time bcos they UP), I would try to not to talk and associate myself with the person as much as possible. I have better things to do rather then wasting my time thinking about how much I hate that person.

But, if that person is your best friend what wd u do? U can not just chuck them out. Will u talk to them and clear the air? or just let it go and hope the time will heal it?

I used to have this problem when I was very much younger. But now, I dont think I'd have that problem anymore. I dont have a best friend and I refuse to have one. I will try to distance myself to a person when I think I'm getting too close to them.

Having said that, however, I do have few close circles of really good friends. I dont pour out everything to them. And it works well for me. So my dear readers, this is kind of a very simplistic approach to solve the question above. I t may not wok for you, but it sure does for me.

Resmi Padi

I've been very negative in my writings so far, so I've decided to switch the trend a little bit. I don't want to be perceived (why do I care abt what ppl think) as grumpy "young" man. Man...I'm not as half as grumpy as RPK and definitely I'm still very young(menyedapkan hati sendiri).


While driving to the office this morning, my memory takes me back to the time where I only think about eat, sleep and play. And I remembered one important pesan my grandfather told me. "Kita hidup kena ikut resmi padi, semakin berisi semakin tunduk, jgn ikut resmi lalang"


What a strong 'pepatah'. Total opposite of UP. This was the value that the Malays had been upholding since god knows when...zaman Hang Tuah maybe? If we breakdown the meanings, surely we can learn something from it.


First let's look at the meaning, literally; Padi (paddy) is a plant that produces rice, a staple food for more than half of the human population. It looks like a long grass (lalang) . Difference is, it yields rice at the top quarter of the stalk. As more rice are being produced, the lean stalk will bend down bcos of gravitational factor. The more rice it produces the lower the bend will be. But it wont break. However, the long grass(lalang), will be more upright and straighter as they grow, but of no use.

Now, The Malays, who had been traditionally planting paddy for ages had symbolised the scenario above. The old folks are implying that as a person gets more powerful, richer, stronger, he/she needs to be humble and to use all the good things that they had acquired for good use. Unlike, the long grass, the higher UP it goes, the more useless it will be.

*terasa mcm Karam Singh Walia la..

UP in the office

The thing I like the most abt writing to this blog is that I wd feel some sense of elation after posting whatever I wanted to say. It has become like an outlet for joy, anger, dissatisfaction and all sorts of other emotions. Its therapeutic.

Furthermore, I can impart some mysteries and suspense, as most of the writings didnt explicitly points to any individuals.

I always have difficulties to express wholeheartedly what I'm feeling during conflicts, mostly becos I didnt want to hurt the other person's feeling. As I can be very brutally truthful with my remarks. Its hard for them to take it to their chin, the truth is always painful. It wd be more painful if its about u and your shortcomings.

Again, I'm putting part of the blame to our culture and the way we have been brought up. We dont have the ability to be tactful and mindful in conflict situation.

This is one thing that I feel that we are lacking when compared to the westerners(ppl in developed nation), especially the Americans. Well for them, I think they can manipulate the language better ( its their mother tounge)

I will try to give an example the difference between us and Americans when they want to UP and gain more exposure.

Real example;
One of my colleague (mestilah Mat UP) said during a meeting. " I purposely stayed back at the office to complete the job becos it is very hard and I was so busy during the day. Furthermore not many users at night, easylah"

He's tring to say that he is very hardworking and sacrifised his personal time to complete the job la konon. Padahal, it shows his lack of planning and time management.

Kalau Mat American they wd say it like this. "Due to the complexity and criticallity of the problem, we had to modify our plan. We believe it wd be best to be implemented during the night as the network is not so congested and they are not so many users online. We dont want them to feel the impact of this problem"

U see, Mat American ni pun nak UP jugak, tapi he'd done it in a subtle way an putting the user as the reason to it.

The point I'm trying to make here, kalau nak UP, UP lah, tapi bagi la ada style sikit.

Brand 'UP'

I've been talking a lot abt golf for the past few posts, maybe now I shd turn my attention to other areas of UP. Lets talk abt branded stuffs.

Ppl buy branded stuffs for so many reasons;
Quality
Features
Brand Loyalty
Self satisfaction/reward
Peer pressure
Brag/Show off
Trend

The bottom half of the reason that I gave above is all abt UP. I think its ok for us to buy branded stuff for the first 4 reasons above, but pls, for god sake dont brag and UP abt it. (Unless if u are the sales person for that brand)

Do you think u are a better person if you wear a 'cole haan' shoes compared to a person wearing a 'bata'? (BTW in Rome, bata is actually a high end boutiqe for shoes). For all u know the Aldo shoes that u are wearing only cost abt 30 USD in the States. For whatever reason, when they come to our shores it became like 400-500. Thats the magic of brand name.

And the worst of all is that u didnt buy it becos u like it. So, with the economic crisis that we are having now, tolonglah, buanglah perangai UP tu. Tak bawak ke mana punya, ale2, hutang credit card kau yg melambung.

Attention Craver

"btw, with regards to your theory on "up" ppl. i dont think it applies to inferior complex ppl je. some ppl brag coz they love the attention. agak waktu kecik, tak cukup kasih sayang kot. huhuhu.."


The comment above was made by one of this blogsite reader. Very valid, infact it makes up quite a number of the UP ppl. Let me do my best to give my take on this.


Sometimes, it happen becos of lack of recognitions. So what do they do ? they recognised themselves to any living souls that they can prey on. How do the do it ? UP and brag. By doing this, they wd satisfy their hunger and crave for attention. The poor souls that had to listen to all these brags and UPs wd need to endure it unwillingly, bcos, our society, our culture, our tradition doesnt teach us to menyampuk or cakap benda2 tak baik or pangkah cakap org, especially to older ppl.


And u know what, these ppl became big headed bcos nobody wd object or dispute whatever they said. However, my dear readers..... there's a proven remedy for this. Ask questions. Try to get them to explain as much as they can. More often than not, they cant. I had tested this in many situations, and it turned out the UP ppl was just bluffing to impress and get attention from others.


If u read my previous post "Top 10 'UP' statements on Golf Course Part1", No.2 specifically explaines on what I wanted to express.
"2. Hari tu aku main sikit lagi nak dapat birdie, eh par, eh bogey, oh tak, dbl bogey sebenarnya."

This was the actual conversation;
UP: Gilalah, hari tu aku main sikit lagi nak dpt birdie.
Poor soul (PS) : Ye ke? Kat mane?
UP: Dekat xxx, 7th hole.
PS: Gile power kau ni, par 4 tu susah tu, index hole. Aku nak dpt par pun menangis.
UP: Ha, tu la, aku mula2 3 on.
PS: Biar betul, kalau kau 3 on mcm mana ko dpt birdie?
UP: Ooh, silap2, bukan par 5 ke situ?
PS: Mane ada, par 4 lah. Abih tu ko dah 3 on brp kali putt?
UP: 2 putt.
PS: Kalau 2 putt, ko dpt bogeylah.
UP: a a yek, bogeyla aku sebenarnya.
PS: Ke ada org bagi ko 'given'?
UP: A..a..
PS: kalau mcm tu ko 3 putt la, dbl bogey tu.

You see, initially this UP guy wanted to get my attention by telling me how good he is. Well, he needed to bluff bcos I definitely I would be interested to hear something spectacular. His mistake was, he never thought I would ask all this kind of questions and scrutinised on his facts. And true enough, it was all made up just to impress me. You could see how hard UP ppl try to UP their stories just to satisfy their crave for attention. So, like I said, u just need to ask questions upon questions, that'll do the trick.

*I think I'm a little bit off topic from explaining the need to recognise themselves by bragging which I tried to explain in the earlier part. Who cares, I felt good telling the actual conversation.

Top 10 'UP' statements on Golf Course Part1

10. Kayu ni flex lebih sgt la, selalu aku pakai 'stiff' shaft pasal swing speed aku laju
9. 'Been there, done that' (comments made after others trying to UP their birdie success)
8. Semalam aku pegi gym, muscle aku sakit2, kalau tak aku boleh drive lagi jauh.
7. 'Dulu aku main 80' (comments made by a 36 handicapper)
6. Its not my golfing day.
5. Ni baru pakai driver kunyit pun dah jauh dah, I dont need a titliest or R5.
4. I dont need regulation approach to get par.
3. Maintain posture for 2 minutes after hitting a drive that almost got on to the green. ( Yg ni up perbuatan, bukan percakapan)
2. Hari tu aku main sikit lagi nak dapat birdie, eh par, eh bogey, oh tak, dbl bogey sebenarnya.
1. 200m, eh 180m.

UP on golf course Part1

Recently I had a game of golf with my Anti-UP buddy. Well, besides enjoying our golf and having a healthy competition, we are always on the lookout for UP ppl. If u wanna find UP ppl, golf course wd be like a small pond filled with big fat fish just waiting to be scooped up with a net. The ratio of UP vs normal is like 4:1.

Back to the game.. after having a rather roller coaster 1st nine, we waited to tee-off on the 10th. There were 2 flights in front of us. The first flt, 2 senior citizens abt 50-60 yrs. Second flt, 2 abled body 40ish golfers.

1st flt's UP:
The first guy hit an OK drive. Now the pressure on the 2nd guy. He hit a wayward shot to the left and fell short of the fairway bend. Instantly, he said with a rather loud voice " Ahhh, aku dah 2 bln dah tak main kat sini" . WTF! Cant he just keep quiet and accept the fact the he had hit a bad shot? It's just beyond my comprehension. I dont understand why he needed to say that. My analysis , Its all abt pride, intensified with a gallery behind him, he just need to give an excuse for his bad shot.

2nd flt's UP:
Before they even step up to the T-box, the white shirt guy was trying to negotiate the betting mode. '6-2-2 lah', '6 ringgit je kalau kalah lah', again, with a rather loud voice. Hey man! We dont need to hear that. As if telling the whole world that he's a regular golfer and betting is his middle name. And, u might know the rest of the story. That guy is KACIS!!!! Tak lepas pun the fairway bend. Sudahlah Mat2 UP.

Inferiority vs Superiority Complex

Big words, but if u closely look at it, there's a very fine line that separates these two.

My definition, Inferiotiy Complex = The feeling of being intimidated.

Symptoms:
Very low self confidence
Poor communication skill
Never wants to be in the limelight

Reasons:
Lack of talent, knowledge, experience and more importantly - results/success
Peer/siblings pressure

Case examples:
2 friends that knew each other from school, being classmates, deskmates and eventually became best friends. If u look at the situation above, they became friends, initially was not by choice. But as time goes, they develop trust and fondness as they were going thru the same experience( being in the same class and all). In certain points of their friendship few tests and assessments came along. For instance, during exams, person A will always be on top of person B. B felt challenged and started to study hard to beat A. But, no matter how hard B studied or tried, B could never beat A. And to rub salt on the wound, A was not even trying and did not acknowledge the fierce competition from B. Slowly, B will develop the feeling of hopelessness and started to accept the fact that no matter what, he/she will still be inferior to A.

Well, thats life. And the situation above is not very strange to us isn't it? But what I wd like to lay out here is the impact of the situation above in general.

From being inferior, B tried to become superior in any opportunity that present itself. Every minute or insignificant details, B will try to boast up and try to downplay A. It can be as simple as, criticising A on the way A walks, looks and talks. It can be to a point where B will start to resort to lies just to impress and UP him/herself. They wd say that they just bought a half million house when in actual fact its just a 300K house. I dont need to elaborate, u got the idea.

To make matters worst, B will try to do this in front of other friends. By doing this, B will have some false sense of victory and satisfaction. There are so much negative that we can take from this, but one thing for sure, the relationship wont be the same.

So the point I want to make here, I blv, most of the ppl that have SUPERIORITY complex actually became like that bcos they felt INFERIOR initially.

Having said that, let me try to define superiority complex in my next update

Anti UP

Its so easy to be critical when u r out of the fence, but now, I'm facing a ' Hang cakap hang Tera, Hang Buat La' syndrome. Suddenly, my fingers are numb and my palms sweating, looking left and right clawing for ideas on what to write. So much data in the head, just need to figure out the tools to drill it out.

Basically, I took this task upon myself becos I've had enough of it. I can't live in a society full of UPs ppl. I've always contemplated with myself, wheter I shd just tell them straight to the face or keep it quite and let it rest in the drawer. Well, more often than not, I went with the latter.

We need to understand that we live in a society, that's the KEY. Every actions and every words, will impact us and the ppl surrounding us, the ppl that we love. We need to protect their feelings and their emotions. Lets face it, at the end of the day, their HAPPINESS is your HAPPINESS, and their sadness.....

Next update I will start to define what is up ppl. And hopefully I can accompany my lectures with some real life example to illustrate what I meant.